Monday, August 7, 2017
Tuesday, August 1, 2017
What a weird subset of dreams
First talking to her but now she's some weird nihlist about a kid brother I don't have. A massive game of hide and go seek with arrows then my mom whispering about why I didn't tell her princess Diana felt about her... So goddamn specific.
Saturday, July 29, 2017
Death Row
Such a peculiar place. They have us locked up in here, separate from each other to prevent us from killing the other even though they counting down the days till we hang. I say, let a man go with dignity. Let him go giving his fists one last taste of blood. Instead, they got us locked in her like steer waiting for slaughter. We bulls who no longer useful to the herd and need to be put down. To say I don't like it would be an understatement.
He comes the same time every night. His club tapping across the bars sporadically just to wake us up. I know I belong here, hell I'd put me here if I had to, but there should be a cell for him to. That club of his had tapped more than just bars, a few skulls and more than a few assholes have the scars to prove it. Not mine though. He know if kill him. Id welcome the beating they'd give me, aft least it would break up the day, maybe even be my final day. Like pop always said, once you at the bottom, you don't gotta fear going down anymore.
I know hell is waiting on me. I can hear the fires in my dreams. Am I terrified? Shit yeah but only cuz I haven't been yet. I ain't afraid to say I afraid. Honesty isn't something I lack, my doctor said. Compassion, empathy, those were the things lacking he babbled as they lead him out bleeding. His ear never did look right again after I took a chimp out of it. I didn't do it cuz I'm crazy or cuz I wanted to hurt him, though I did enjoy it. No, I did it cuz I wanted to get put here. In death Row.
Now, I done many crimes that warrant me being strung up but I didn't get caught for them. No. I ain't a idiot, contrary to popular opinion. Rather I'm what you would call driven. I'm driven to complete whatever I set my mind to and I set my mind to get thrown in here in Texas on this day I needed to be here. The voices tell me so.
Now, I know what you're probably thinking, paranoid schizophrenia. Naw. At least I don't believe so. I believe the voices to be real. They knew things I didn't, things I couldn't. They told me to be here, in two hours, and told me exactly how to do it. Again, I ain't crazy. I'm driven. There's a difference. See, these voices know something about some people I'm trying to find. They know where they live, who they fucking, where they drink, and where the buy their fucking bread. I want them bad. I need them. So I listen to these voices even though I know hell is waiting.
I don't care though. I don't care that I have essential sold my soul to things I haven't even seen yet but no need to fear drowning when you're already at the bottom, right? So I'm here, and that club is tapping closer. The lights are out but I can see his shadow growing even in the dark. He is one of them, or was anyways. He was one of the voices that called and now he's here as flesh and blood. The others, they say to wait and they shall provide. A care package from below as a trade for killing him. He's just outside the next cell down. Sweat builds on my brow in anticipation. My muscles flex and relax smoothly under my skin, pythons waiting for the heat of the kill. He's getting closer now. I used to doubt they could provide. There was a time where I would've not believed that they could do what they can but hallelujah call me a believer.
He comes the same time every night. His club tapping across the bars sporadically just to wake us up. I know I belong here, hell I'd put me here if I had to, but there should be a cell for him to. That club of his had tapped more than just bars, a few skulls and more than a few assholes have the scars to prove it. Not mine though. He know if kill him. Id welcome the beating they'd give me, aft least it would break up the day, maybe even be my final day. Like pop always said, once you at the bottom, you don't gotta fear going down anymore.
I know hell is waiting on me. I can hear the fires in my dreams. Am I terrified? Shit yeah but only cuz I haven't been yet. I ain't afraid to say I afraid. Honesty isn't something I lack, my doctor said. Compassion, empathy, those were the things lacking he babbled as they lead him out bleeding. His ear never did look right again after I took a chimp out of it. I didn't do it cuz I'm crazy or cuz I wanted to hurt him, though I did enjoy it. No, I did it cuz I wanted to get put here. In death Row.
Now, I done many crimes that warrant me being strung up but I didn't get caught for them. No. I ain't a idiot, contrary to popular opinion. Rather I'm what you would call driven. I'm driven to complete whatever I set my mind to and I set my mind to get thrown in here in Texas on this day I needed to be here. The voices tell me so.
Now, I know what you're probably thinking, paranoid schizophrenia. Naw. At least I don't believe so. I believe the voices to be real. They knew things I didn't, things I couldn't. They told me to be here, in two hours, and told me exactly how to do it. Again, I ain't crazy. I'm driven. There's a difference. See, these voices know something about some people I'm trying to find. They know where they live, who they fucking, where they drink, and where the buy their fucking bread. I want them bad. I need them. So I listen to these voices even though I know hell is waiting.
I don't care though. I don't care that I have essential sold my soul to things I haven't even seen yet but no need to fear drowning when you're already at the bottom, right? So I'm here, and that club is tapping closer. The lights are out but I can see his shadow growing even in the dark. He is one of them, or was anyways. He was one of the voices that called and now he's here as flesh and blood. The others, they say to wait and they shall provide. A care package from below as a trade for killing him. He's just outside the next cell down. Sweat builds on my brow in anticipation. My muscles flex and relax smoothly under my skin, pythons waiting for the heat of the kill. He's getting closer now. I used to doubt they could provide. There was a time where I would've not believed that they could do what they can but hallelujah call me a believer.
Thursday, July 13, 2017
Who's freedom
Who's freedom do you fight for? Who benefits from total freedom? Do you believe the altruism of man will shine through if given the chance? You are a fool if you do. A fool with eyes closed and ears plugged with the lies the sell you. Freedom isn't free. I won't brandish any of our propaganda on you, I see that it has no effect, but the sentiment is true. Freedom isn't free. Freedom, true freedom, costs the lives of the weak, the broken, the old, the unlucky, the migrant, the woman, the child. It costs the lives of those who don't have the arm to strike back against the dark, the teeth in the night. The path to freedom is paved with the bodies of "Patriots" but the foundation is the meek.
We offer order. We offer structure and stability. We offer a wall too the anarchy of freedom. Freedom is an illusion made by those with means to rise above the squabble for necessities. Those with the power, the money, the muscle to take what they want will do so and freedom only lubricates the machines by which they do it.
You may think me a monster, a totalitarian whose heart stopped beating long ago, but I am not. My heart bleeds for my country. My heart aches for those in need for those under the boot off freedom. We offer a way out. There is peace is routine. There is plenty in the shared state. Can you say the same for freedom? Look upon the ghettos of Ivasar. Do you see a good life there? There is no police to protect the weak from thieves that steal what little they have at night. There are no courts to prosecute the deranged that take pleasure in others suffering.
That's freedom for you. Chaos. Bloodshed. Anarchy. Will you not stand with me against the fallacy of freedom? Will you not stand against injustice?
This is a little speach I thought of while watching Noisias song Tommy's Theme. I liked this notion that maybe the police state believes they are actually doing good. I always hate where the "man" is always blatantly evil. I would like to explore the dramatic irony that maybe their violence is "right". That maybe things aren't always black and white. It's kind of the monkey paw wish thing. Sure you get what want, but at what price.
We offer order. We offer structure and stability. We offer a wall too the anarchy of freedom. Freedom is an illusion made by those with means to rise above the squabble for necessities. Those with the power, the money, the muscle to take what they want will do so and freedom only lubricates the machines by which they do it.
You may think me a monster, a totalitarian whose heart stopped beating long ago, but I am not. My heart bleeds for my country. My heart aches for those in need for those under the boot off freedom. We offer a way out. There is peace is routine. There is plenty in the shared state. Can you say the same for freedom? Look upon the ghettos of Ivasar. Do you see a good life there? There is no police to protect the weak from thieves that steal what little they have at night. There are no courts to prosecute the deranged that take pleasure in others suffering.
That's freedom for you. Chaos. Bloodshed. Anarchy. Will you not stand with me against the fallacy of freedom? Will you not stand against injustice?
This is a little speach I thought of while watching Noisias song Tommy's Theme. I liked this notion that maybe the police state believes they are actually doing good. I always hate where the "man" is always blatantly evil. I would like to explore the dramatic irony that maybe their violence is "right". That maybe things aren't always black and white. It's kind of the monkey paw wish thing. Sure you get what want, but at what price.
Sunday, June 25, 2017
NaNo 2017 Planning stage
Long Way Down
Main Plot:
Super heroes exist in the modern age. People with special abilities have been around for quite some time and have either been benevolent or malevolent as they are still just regular people. Around World War II, a group of these special people were used in war to devastating affect leading the world to convene, post WWII, that the use of those with special abilities is highly subversive to human decency, ironic, when used by nations. Thus, a draft proposal was written up to control what super humans are allowed to do legally and what definition that have as a citizen in a state.
In the modern era, these super heroes, which legally cannot represent a nation, are instead privatized by corporations who foot the bill for those who need special equipment, costumes, transport, or any other support as they are just regular people with super human abilities. Being property, these heroes are allowed certain actions and must not do things that will affect their branding. On the most part, this goes fine with a world that mostly gets along, with political and economic sanctions being the main drive for aggression in the world.
We will follow one such super hero, a woman by the name of Kristen Lieberman. A woman born with some of the most powerful abilities seen in quite some time. She is super strong, super fast, nearly immortal as her wounds her incredibly fast, and has minor psychic abilities (i.e. she's an empath). Her abilities don't become known until puberty and thus ages normally until then. After an incident when she is 18 at high school, she is outed to the world, and herself as a super hero. With this knowledge, her life and her future is drastically changed as she becomes a different kind of legal entity.
The super heroes are thrust into a world of strife and secrecy as soon as they contracted to an organization with their original identities hidden and their past lives essentially erased. Kristen, who on the whole is a sympathetic person, bears the burden of the life change in stride and takes up the role of hero. During a mandatory grace period, she meets up with author Alex Sharp while incognito and begins her first real relationship with the man. The two hit it off almost instantly. After an accident that leaves him scarred and her outed, he finds out that she is a member of the super heroes and is also thrust into the life of one with his own history completely redacted from the world.
As global pressures mount to war, the rise of a "villainous" organization of supers changes the tide for Kristen and Alex as she is forced to do things that offend her character but are "brand" appropriate.
As their world changes, the two grow resentful of each other, being forced to be together for "brand" awareness, and at the organization that handles them. Subtle acts of defiance cascade to waterfalls of treachery as the two discover who they truly are by striking out against what they are forced to be.
This is the creation of a villain story. A story where the hero finds out that being a "hero" is all relative and that the veneer of niceness is a lie we tell ourselves sometimes.
Characters:
* Kristen Lieberman - Main protagonist and one of the major POVs for the story. She is late twenties with a slim build and dark hair she keeps medium length. Born to a hard working family, she grew up just below poverty and is keen to the struggles of those who were not as fortunate in life as others. She is charismatic and charming and people are drawn to her mostly frank attitude towards life. She is a super, and doesn't know that until after a gas explosion at her high school "awakened" her abilities and get her involved in the hero business. She is the poster child for being a "strong chinned hero with a heart of gold" but does resent the lavish life she is granted. She is insecure at times as she doesn't know if people respect her for who she is or who she happened to be born as.
* Alex Sharp - Second protagonist and next major POV for the story. He is tall, slim, with dirty blonde hair and appears older than he is. An amateur writer he is famous in a niche community for a Sci-Fi book he wrote and an article that won him some awards while exposing some shadowy use of supers in areas of the world under strife. He is driven by a need to recapture the success he once had and is secretly demanding of the praise it gave him. He grew up in a broken home where he was forced out of school at young age to help pick up the slack of a drunk father and nearly absentee mother. He is somewhat obsessed with fame and is driven by the need to be better than he was in more than dangerously way. He is rash, and impulsive and often gets in arguments as he doesn't like losing.
* Danielle Panaton - Danielle is the main handler between Kristen and the hero organization that has contracted her. She is well built with square shoulders and a sharp face. She is darker skinned. She seems to be ex-military but does very little sharing of herself to the couple. She represents Kristen and at least three other heroes during the story and is fairly, "by the numbers", about it. She is very driven and wants a better seat within the organization than being a babysitter. She uses Kristen and Alex later to further her own career even at great risk to their safety and well being. She is brutal, and quiet with little insight to her past.
* Reverend Whitehouse - The reverend represents a growing populace that believe that the supers are an affront to god and the bible and believes they should be more tightly controlled. He is the figure head of a super church that is used in embezzlement scheme to fund private interests in the governing body of America. He is one of the main antagonists of the story but is never met with the "heroes" of the story. His machinations create the "villains" organizations that are more privatized and less forthcoming with the details of the business. Maybe a super himself. (tropey but whatever)
Main Plot:
Super heroes exist in the modern age. People with special abilities have been around for quite some time and have either been benevolent or malevolent as they are still just regular people. Around World War II, a group of these special people were used in war to devastating affect leading the world to convene, post WWII, that the use of those with special abilities is highly subversive to human decency, ironic, when used by nations. Thus, a draft proposal was written up to control what super humans are allowed to do legally and what definition that have as a citizen in a state.
In the modern era, these super heroes, which legally cannot represent a nation, are instead privatized by corporations who foot the bill for those who need special equipment, costumes, transport, or any other support as they are just regular people with super human abilities. Being property, these heroes are allowed certain actions and must not do things that will affect their branding. On the most part, this goes fine with a world that mostly gets along, with political and economic sanctions being the main drive for aggression in the world.
We will follow one such super hero, a woman by the name of Kristen Lieberman. A woman born with some of the most powerful abilities seen in quite some time. She is super strong, super fast, nearly immortal as her wounds her incredibly fast, and has minor psychic abilities (i.e. she's an empath). Her abilities don't become known until puberty and thus ages normally until then. After an incident when she is 18 at high school, she is outed to the world, and herself as a super hero. With this knowledge, her life and her future is drastically changed as she becomes a different kind of legal entity.
The super heroes are thrust into a world of strife and secrecy as soon as they contracted to an organization with their original identities hidden and their past lives essentially erased. Kristen, who on the whole is a sympathetic person, bears the burden of the life change in stride and takes up the role of hero. During a mandatory grace period, she meets up with author Alex Sharp while incognito and begins her first real relationship with the man. The two hit it off almost instantly. After an accident that leaves him scarred and her outed, he finds out that she is a member of the super heroes and is also thrust into the life of one with his own history completely redacted from the world.
As global pressures mount to war, the rise of a "villainous" organization of supers changes the tide for Kristen and Alex as she is forced to do things that offend her character but are "brand" appropriate.
As their world changes, the two grow resentful of each other, being forced to be together for "brand" awareness, and at the organization that handles them. Subtle acts of defiance cascade to waterfalls of treachery as the two discover who they truly are by striking out against what they are forced to be.
This is the creation of a villain story. A story where the hero finds out that being a "hero" is all relative and that the veneer of niceness is a lie we tell ourselves sometimes.
Characters:
* Kristen Lieberman - Main protagonist and one of the major POVs for the story. She is late twenties with a slim build and dark hair she keeps medium length. Born to a hard working family, she grew up just below poverty and is keen to the struggles of those who were not as fortunate in life as others. She is charismatic and charming and people are drawn to her mostly frank attitude towards life. She is a super, and doesn't know that until after a gas explosion at her high school "awakened" her abilities and get her involved in the hero business. She is the poster child for being a "strong chinned hero with a heart of gold" but does resent the lavish life she is granted. She is insecure at times as she doesn't know if people respect her for who she is or who she happened to be born as.
* Alex Sharp - Second protagonist and next major POV for the story. He is tall, slim, with dirty blonde hair and appears older than he is. An amateur writer he is famous in a niche community for a Sci-Fi book he wrote and an article that won him some awards while exposing some shadowy use of supers in areas of the world under strife. He is driven by a need to recapture the success he once had and is secretly demanding of the praise it gave him. He grew up in a broken home where he was forced out of school at young age to help pick up the slack of a drunk father and nearly absentee mother. He is somewhat obsessed with fame and is driven by the need to be better than he was in more than dangerously way. He is rash, and impulsive and often gets in arguments as he doesn't like losing.
* Danielle Panaton - Danielle is the main handler between Kristen and the hero organization that has contracted her. She is well built with square shoulders and a sharp face. She is darker skinned. She seems to be ex-military but does very little sharing of herself to the couple. She represents Kristen and at least three other heroes during the story and is fairly, "by the numbers", about it. She is very driven and wants a better seat within the organization than being a babysitter. She uses Kristen and Alex later to further her own career even at great risk to their safety and well being. She is brutal, and quiet with little insight to her past.
* Reverend Whitehouse - The reverend represents a growing populace that believe that the supers are an affront to god and the bible and believes they should be more tightly controlled. He is the figure head of a super church that is used in embezzlement scheme to fund private interests in the governing body of America. He is one of the main antagonists of the story but is never met with the "heroes" of the story. His machinations create the "villains" organizations that are more privatized and less forthcoming with the details of the business. Maybe a super himself. (tropey but whatever)
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