The night terrors have come back

It's interesting that they have returned. I'm almost 30 years old and yet they close at the back of my mind every so often. In those times I almost feel as if I'm coming unstuck from reality. There is this weird, "tearing" feeling where I swear I can feel the stands that bind me here stretch. Melodramatic, sure, but that's what it feels like in those moments. I know sleep deprivation can cause unrest and even paranoia which seems to feed into a deeper terror each time. Like I hear things. Thumping, the front door being opened, shadows moving all these things I hear or see in my mind. It's a duality though. I know they aren't real, but the feel to real.

This helps though. Reminds me of center. Of where I am nominally.

Head space got really noisy there

Need to dump. Those things aren't real, they might be but they aren't right now. Just weird waking dreams. Hate the feeling though. That feeling of being awake but clearly not. Fucks with my perception of reality and the shadow of doubt lingers for a bit too long. Okay. Feel like I can go back to sleep now. Would like to dream about the Roci and crew. While stressful and dangerous, it is an adventure and isn't a really that would make me question mine.