Sunday, January 28, 2018

The night terrors have come back

It's interesting that they have returned. I'm almost 30 years old and yet they close at the back of my mind every so often. In those times I almost feel as if I'm coming unstuck from reality. There is this weird, "tearing" feeling where I swear I can feel the stands that bind me here stretch. Melodramatic, sure, but that's what it feels like in those moments. I know sleep deprivation can cause unrest and even paranoia which seems to feed into a deeper terror each time. Like I hear things. Thumping, the front door being opened, shadows moving all these things I hear or see in my mind. It's a duality though. I know they aren't real, but the feel to real.

This helps though. Reminds me of center. Of where I am nominally.

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