She comes

At night, they say, is a terrible whisper. A croak more than a whisper actually, they say. It calls out to those that wander the wood under dim moonlight. It taunts the lovers who flee the noise and light of the village, to wrestle their lust away from prying eyes. It tempts the children, fat with laziness and sloth with the prospect of candy and other confections.  It scents the air with musky lust to those men stumbling home after a hard night's drink.

It waits there.  Silent and calm like the grave with just as many bodies beneath, they say.  Me, being a man of reason and science, detest these tales. Not that i abhor fantasy, i actually while away many a hour between the covers of peculiar tales of far away places, rather i detest the notion of fear manifesting itself. Fear is, as many would agree, healthy in moderation.  Like a stiff drink, one or two can make you keen amd aware, any more and you're babbling to any who will listen.  All things in moderation.  Fear is a curious drug.

Fucking obsessed

With this goddamn song.
Thunder by Shaed. Its pretty damn dope. Poppy but not. Idk what it is but it's got me. I did see it live so that probably helps

Previously on Hannibal

Such a dark show. Obviously the notion of killing and eating folks isn't the nicest, most cheery, of plots but everything about that show is sorrow. Jack loses his wife, Abigail loses her family, Will practically loses everything (except Winston of course), hell even my favorite character Beverly Katz gets axed. There's almost no levity to the show after the first season but somehow it doesn't become melancholic. There is no fatigue that you often experience when movies and tv shows try to be edgy and dark by simply having the characters brood in there own despair. No, this show differs in having them live and die in it just like real life. Obviously, most people aren't hunting down a man without a hint of empathy as he calmly murders all those who annoy him but we do have our own trials. Our own demons that keep us up at night. This show lets the characters accept that loss and despair inevitable but also that perseverance is the key to survival. The come to blows with what tears them down, for better or worse, but they never give up. I think that's what distinguishes this constant drama filled show from others like it. This show accepts darkness and bears it without begrudging it. It bears it honestly and frankly. It event allows characters to slip into it, to succumb to their own irrational fears and lets them die in their.

Marian hill

Man. What a fucking great concert. We left early, it was in phoenix afterall, and the drive was long after school and work. The venue was a neat little place, The Crescent Ballrom, that was separated into two parts. The lounge, which looked like a neat little restaurant, and the main stage. The stage area was narrow but very long and it distributed space very well. The back wall was made up of concrete reliefs that came out about ten feet giving some elegant seating. The stage was small and short which allowed us to get super close. I mean, real fucking close. 

Here we are literally a short arm reach from Samantha of Marian Hill. Shes practically killing me with those eyes and that peekaboo slip of tummy there. Before her was Shaed and Verite. Honestly, i didnt expect much from the openers but man did they knock it out of the park! Shaed were a trio of younguns from DC that were all funky and high energy. Verite came out looking solemn and grim but killed it with her stirring vocals and eye popping shirt. Some pics: 

The show was awesome, save for a trio of more than drunk girls starting a fight right next to us, and i am so glad a random web link showed me the tickets. 

The only bummer was missing you dude. We drove past where you got in your accident twice. Obviously i dont know specifically where but i couldnt help but dwell on it. Im glad you at least were coming back from living your life you know. Like you werent going to let it be a boring day for you and thats so powerful. I know i promised you id live a more fulfilling life, for you, and ive been doing ok. Need to focus on body and mind like you were. I miss you so much man. 

Anyways. It was an amazing concert, we were sad l couldnt join, she wouldve loved it, but the experience was incredible.  

Nice

Concert tix are still available. I figured they would be. I mean Marian is pretty popular but she hasn't really exploded yet. I'm expecting a pretty laid back show with the ladies. Really looking forward to October though with Miike. Been grooving to their tracks a lot lately.

Saturday night was a hoot. It started weird at the bowling alley but ended really well. I have really missed hanging out with all my guy friends. One of the guys that moved away came back and we got to relive some old times together. It was nice. There's a great pic of me smiling like a damn idiot at the Buffet. It is interesting that I mainly feel more intoxicated when I'm with certain people. I know there have been studies on it but its odd to feel it in real life, especially considering I only had two.

C went nuts, like he always does. Dancing all over the place and we somehow always end up at IBTS. When we are with him though we end the night on the indoor dance floor as opposed to the ladies that like the outdoor. With fall weather approaching, I feel that we will be spending quite a bit of time on that concrete slab outside.

Of course ran into my cousin. It's not a big deal, in fact it was super easy this time, but it is always odd. Shes a nice girl and she mostly keeps to herself, it's just weird that she has a way better relationship with my dad than I ever have or ever will. It feels weird for me to even say "dad". So used to not saying it that it feels foreign to my lips (or fingertips in this case). Again, no big deal considering my Grandpa was my real father figure but he still was my Grandpa, not a true to form dad. I know I didn't miss out though. My real father is always hanging out at Hooters alone I guess (from what I hear from my sister) so I wouldn't have had much to idolize. I kind of feel that that's the saddest place to hangout. The food isn't that good, the booze is expensive, and you don't really get too much interaction with the girls. It's not even a poor man's strip club considering you can have a lot more fun at the club and not really spend that much.

What else we got? Australia trip is coming up fast. Its going to be a bit awkward with school but I'm gonna do what it takes to go. This is seriously an amazing opportunity and I need to make sure I get to use it. It will be super weird to literally be on the other side of the world, and I'll be bummed not being able to bring burr but I'm sure it will still be fun. We are just very different from a lot of other people that it's hard to hangout with other folk sometimes. I guess that's why L was such a good fit, on the most part. She's a bit more of a wild child than us but she's open. She, on the most part, isn't akin to saying no if she hasn't done something before which is very nice. I feel that this emergency roommate situation is getting better. Just need a bit more direction in certain bureaucratic things but that's not too big of a deal right now.

Don't have much else to vent right now. I mean, I do but I'll let it lay. It's just silly to be effecting someone so much when we all are living the lives we want or at least working towards the lives we want. We shouldn't waste time worrying about something that only effects us in a temporal sense. There I go, bringing it up, like I implied I wouldn't. Oh well. My blog. Literally no one reads this so its no biggie.

OH! Almost won at trivia. The new venue definitely has us feeling like are small fish in a big pond but with the help of my old buddy and his fiance, we made it in the top 3! It was a very fun game.

Nice

Concert tix are still available. I figured they would be. I mean Marian is pretty popular but she hasn't really exploded yet. I'm expecting a pretty laid back show with the ladies. Really looking forward to October though with Miike. Been grooving to their tracks a lot lately.

Saturday night was a hoot. It started weird at the bowling alley but ended really well. I have really missed hanging out with all my guy friends. One of the guys that moved away came back and we got to relive some old times together. It was nice. There's a great pic of me smiling like a damn idiot at the Buffet. It is interesting that I mainly feel more intoxicated when I'm with certain people. I know there have been studies on it but its odd to feel it in real life, especially considering I only had two.

C went nuts, like he always does. Dancing all over the place and we somehow always end up at IBTS. When we are with him though we end the night on the indoor dance floor as opposed to the ladies that like the outdoor. With fall weather approaching, I feel that we will be spending quite a bit of time on that concrete slab outside.

Of course ran into my cousin. It's not a big deal, in fact it was super easy this time, but it is always odd. Shes a nice girl and she mostly keeps to herself, it's just weird that she has a way better relationship with my dad than I ever have or ever will. It feels weird for me to even say "dad". So used to not saying it that it feels foreign to my lips (or fingertips in this case). Again, no big deal considering my Grandpa was my real father figure but he still was my Grandpa, not a true to form dad. I know I didn't miss out though. My real father is always hanging out at Hooters alone I guess (from what I hear from my sister) so I wouldn't have had much to idolize. I kind of feel that that's the saddest place to hangout. The food isn't that good, the booze is expensive, and you don't really get too much interaction with the girls. It's not even a poor man's strip club considering you can have a lot more fun at the club and not really spend that much.

What else we got? Australia trip is coming up fast. Its going to be a bit awkward with school but I'm gonna do what it takes to go. This is seriously an amazing opportunity and I need to make sure I get to use it. It will be super weird to literally be on the other side of the world, and I'll be bummed not being able to bring burr but I'm sure it will still be fun. We are just very different from a lot of other people that it's hard to hangout with other folk sometimes. I guess that's why L was such a good fit, on the most part. She's a bit more of a wild child than us but she's open. She, on the most part, isn't akin to saying no if she hasn't done something before which is very nice. I feel that this emergency roommate situation is getting better. Just need a bit more direction in certain bureaucratic things but that's not too big of a deal right now.

Don't have much else to vent right now. I mean, I do but I'll let it lay. It's just silly to be effecting someone so much when we all are living the lives we want or at least working towards the lives we want. We shouldn't waste time worrying about something that only effects us in a temporal sense. There I go, bringing it up, like I implied I wouldn't. Oh well. My blog. Literally no one reads this so its no biggie.

OH! Almost won at trivia. The new venue definitely has us feeling like are small fish in a big pond but with the help of my old buddy and his fiance, we made it in the top 3! It was a very fun game.

Addressing Genghis Khan

I realize that out of context the Ghengis Khan (or however i mispelled it) post may have been a bit unnerving for some without full context. The context is that its my end of year jam latley from Miike Snow. Gonna see the folks soon. The music video:
Youtube
To any who may have been unnerved by the content of the post should watch the video. Its a catchy tune.

I need to be better

I need to be a better engineer. I need to work harder on becoming smarter. Intelligence and knowing what to do comes from incremental failures. It comes from doing something wrong everyday until you do it right. Problem with me is i dont work enough. I dont put in the required hours. I need to be better. Get it done

Shorty

"Lets see," he said with the cut above his eye still bleeding. It wasnt bad he thought. It probably looks much worse than it is. She cringed as his hand approached, curling herself deeper under the car he found her by. "Girl, I don't have time for this. If i wanted you hurt i would have left those beasts to their business. Instead, i got myself cut up, ruining my favorite shirt, and i think i at least earn a half hearted thumbs up, ya?" His voice was annoyed but sincere. Eventually she eased a bit closer the edge he was crouched by. His eyes never left the street. The bodies of the monsters were still warm and steaming in the cool air. The stench of copper, their blood, hung in the air also like thick smoke. It coated his lungs and even though this was nowhere near the first time he smelled it, it always made him gag.

"Are they, gone?" Her voice barely a whisper. He couldn't blame here. Gerrad had dealt with these creatures, ghouls and small ones too, before. So much so as they were his bread and butter for his profession. A profession that had died out for a few centuries before becoming dangerously en vogue. 

"They ain't gone but they also aren't going anywhere." A flash of shadow caught his eye. A shape had ducked behind a corner just before he could focus on it. His nostrils flared as he breathed deep looking for the smell of living enemies. The cloying scwnt of the dead was bad and covered up everything else. In frustration, he spat into the dirt. Ghouls don't typically hide when blood had been spilled, and the pavement would need more than a few sprays to get it all off. Whatever was in that shadow wasn't a ghoul, that was for sure. 

"You killed them?" Her voice was more sure of itself but it still quivered in her throat. She couldn't be more than sixteen and living this deep in the city had its perks of not seeing one of these things as often as those beyond the wall. 

"As dead as my patience. Come girl, crawl yourself out of there." He took his eyes off the road, off the corner, but kept his ears on high alert. Silence was good but it held too many secrets. Slowly, his hand reached under the car and towards the cowering thing that looked up through wet eyes. "I only hurt monsters. Not young ladies. Now, let me see you better." This time she did take his hand, the one not covered in monster blood, and shimmied her way out from beneath the mini van that had enough claw marks on it to make the insurance agent feint. 

Finally, she had gotten out from underneath the vehicle and stood before him. Her stance, given the situation, gave her a cocky air as she had her shoulders back and her nosed turned up at him. Elites, he thought, covered in grease and dirt yet still find a way to make you feel beneath them. 

"Thank you, sir knight." He had to suppress a giggle as she curtsied as if they were in a more elegant ballroom as opposed to an empty street already teeming with flies over the fresh kills. 

"I'm no knight and you can save the pleasentries for now. I have slain three but the usually rove in larger packs. We must make haste out of here, into some place warm and bright." 

She looked around and pointed quickly at a hotel across the street. The high stone wall cleverly hid the metal spikes to thrawt climbing beasts looked like a good place to get behind. The entryway had a small guard shack with an armed man standing in it, mouth agape. Probably trained a dozen times for this exact incident but seeing as this is normally the quietest city, probably never turned theory into practice. Gerrad had half a mind to let his commander know, let his ears get boxed for not assisting with that rifle of his. 

"Looks good. Come." He gave her shoulder a hard nudge as he pushed her ahead of him. Bringing up the rear he swiftly followed, his steps quick and quiet as he didn't feel the danger was over. Up and down the street he could see faces looking out from fortified windows. A couple cars rolled down the street but upon seeing the steaming corpses, let their tires do the talking and tore out of the area. Everything seemed normal and quiet but he didn't like that shadow earlier. He didn't like things spying on him. Rarely did monsters spy, that was more of a human past time.
As they approached the walled hotel, the guard with a closely trimmed haircut and neatly tucked shirt finally closed his mouth and rushed out of his guardhouse to meet the two.
"Are you folks alright?" His voice was uncertain, burdened by guilt Gerrad thought, and he was fidgeting with the modern pistol at his hip. It was still holstered but his nervous fingers inched towards the trigger.
"She's fine. Take her inside. I don't think my work is done here just yet." The clicking of claws on conrete behind Gerrad further exemplified his point.
It was only one more ghoul. The night gets more interesting, he thought as he slowly began to cirlce inwards towards the creature. Ghouls have a humanoid form but with slightly longer arms, broader shoulders and narrow waists. Their legs tended to be short and thick with muscle as the used their trunk as a spring board to catch their prey. Their extended forearms gave them an advantage when it came to reach but also forced them to shuffle on their hands and feet much like an ape. Gerrad knew the "magic" distance to keep from them. He had to stay far enough that a pounce would leave them vulnerable but not too close as to be reached by their long arms. The main thing was to keep moving. They attacked in a straight line and werent known for their ability to attack well from the sides.
"Come on, you filth," Gerrad cursed while drawing his short blade. In the city, it was largely illegal to use a fiream on the street unless absolutely necessary. Even for hunters like himself. The decaying creature hissed at him through its crooked, fang riddled jaw. The two eyes set deep in its fleshy head burned like cools from the reflected street lights. They were more accustomed to the dark and Gerrad attempted to position himself in front of the brightest light he could find in order to blind the beast to his attack.
It moved and rotated with him as he expected. A few more steps and the glare would force the creature to squint and lose focus, giving the armed hunter his opportunity to attack. Just a couple more steps left but suddenly the creature stopped. Gerrad kept pacing inwards at angle, cirlcing closer but the beast stopped following his movements. It focused its head on him, its neck creaking and groaning grotesquely  but its hips and shoulders didn't move.
Interesting again, Gerrad thought. They normally never present their sides like that. They were too slow and vulnerable in this way, it was opening itself for an unguarded attack. Gerrad was about to lunge, when his curiosity  with the odd behavior halted his normally decisive movements, saving his life. His hesitant step, had he taken it as he normally would have, would have put him right in the tracjectory of a silenced rifle round. He heard, more like felt, the buzz and whine of the metal flying past him then heard a faint crack just down the street and up high. The round whizzed past his ear, taking with it a scrap of flesh from the side of his head and landing harmlessly in a stone bench just to his left with a crack and splinter of concrete. The guard, who had returned from setting the young miss inside, instinctively ducked and drew his weapon. His eyes cast towards the sound of the report, ex soldier no doubt. Gerrad thought it strange that he was so dumbfounded when seeing a ghoul but so quick to act when assailed by a sniper. The creature seized the opportunity and lunged at Gerrad clumsily as it still had to rotate its stiff and massive legs. Gerrad was surprised by the round aimed at where the back of his head should've been but his muscle memory ttok care of the rest with his blade. He ducked under the obscene arms expertly and slid the blade deep under the arm pit severing the artery there completely letting momentum of the creatures lunge do the work. The stroke was clean but the aftermath wasn't. Warm, reeking, almost black blood sprayed his face and chest as the wretch continued its doomed trajectory past him. Pity, he thought, this was his favorite shirt.
Not forgetting the sniper, Gerrad rolled gracefully behind a stone planter big enough to hide two of him. He thanked the architects that designed the bollards that could stop tanks yet didn't bring down property value as he peeked over the planter. The creature attempted to get up from its fall, leaving a growing pool of sticky blood behind, but only stumbled and fell a couple more times before it ceased to rise. Its breath still could be heard but the cadence slowed and became shallower to it stopped all together.
The street was quiet again. He looked over at the guard who was currently relaying a message over a small, handheld radio. 

Fuck you

Fuck you MIPS...honestly. programming is fun enough with bitwise register operations. I dont feel like doing this shit...


Back to it.

I know you read this

Well I obviously looked but really it's just because you have been for more than week straight now. I don't know your motivations. I don't talk to you, I don't talk to anyone about you, I don't do shit but sometimes write about you because you're always on here! I don't know why you think I'm some evil thing. The last message I sent was an email after we got into a fight because of one of these posts on here and the last object I sent you was that bag of Kit Kats and that Cat Plant I bought you when you had that really bad breakup. Yes, I looked at your stuff but the honest trigger was you. I mean:

So the top one is just a snap shot of some of the looks and the bottom is a bar graph of the times you visited this week. Orange is mostly you until the last one, that one is me three times. I also had stuff from when you lived with your dad both before and after our last fight. You look all the time. I went three months without looking at your stuff. After that stalker thing you did on your tumblr. I mean you stopped using it so I stopped caring. Then, you started looking again. I didn't do anything to preempt it. I was just doing my thing. I've seen you click on the Pinterest link (which was broken at the time), click on my imgur link, everything.


For your information, the above is from Statcounter, a free service that simply tracks web traffic on a specific URL. Nothing nefarious. The "Katrina2?" tag was me. I had no one of knowing who that is. The IP address might seem like its invading but that's nothing. That's a label given by your ISP so unless I was friend's with Cox, I can't do a thing with it.

I don't know why you think I'm so dangerous. The last time I saw you I was trying to avoid. Well, the Hut was just make sure that was you but once I found out I left. I went to Mr. Heads and you guys came walking in. After that I left again and still you guys walked by me. I didn't think anything of it, I thought it was funny, but I didn't want to interfere. I don't know how that's dangerous.

So yes, I have looked but you baited me. I even wrote on here that you looking is baiting me. Yes, I should've ignored but what am I supposed to think? I haven't done anything. I have NEVER harassed you. If someone told you I have or you have some notion that I have, that is all fallacy. I don't know where you live, your tumblr (if you have one), your facebook is gone, but I do know pinterest obviously. If you are that worried about me skulking around, get stat counter. http://statcounter.com/, this site will allow you to see who's looking at your stuff. Obviously you would need to be able to inject a little code so you would need access to the source. Tumblr allows it and so does a few others.

This will be the last thing I post on here with this URL. If this blog offends you so, then I will hide it. It was supposed, and still is, my scratch pad. Your looking though has influenced it though obviously and if that offends, i'm sorry but i'm also not. This is my space. I can do here as I please. I'm never violent, nor am I violent. We were friends for years so you should know that.

Once you see this one, the URL will change and I won't link it anywhere.

Honestly, I miss you but I don't know what's going on with you. I don't know what I have done to make you feel like I'm so damn dangerous. Honestly, I'm tired of this shit. I'm tired of trying to figure out what you want.

I hope you live a happy life. I really do. I'm happy and you deserve no less but I feel that I need to simply disappear from this space. There's no need for so much drama. I don't think we should be effecting each other's lives from behind a screen.

Adios

I'd like to know what's up

But I'm still too much of a baby. Maybe not a baby but maybe something a bit different. I don't wanna be the one to break the ice but the carrot has been used by both sides so I think we now are waiting to see who will bite first. I have a few questions, and I assume anyone who may read this may as well but probably not considering I have been writing on here nearly every day. I have to though! Jammers. So what's been going on? Hopefully all good things.

I recently got to reconnect with an old friend which is nice. Have lost too many, you know? I'm terrible at making new ones too. I rarely speak on campus but I do talk a lot at work and I know most of the folk there like me. Just a couple of folk I'd really like to get back into the swing with. Most are far away and others, well, you know (FUCKING WINKEY FACE!!!!) I wanted an extreme emoji here but I think old man caps lock is the way to go. You'll notice that these sentences are a bit more coherent, a little bit more complex, and not as fraught with spelling errors. Its cuz I'm using my laptop and not my phone (I used cuz cuz its fun and you're just going to have to deal with it!). 

What we got planned for the week? 

Some dope stuff no doubt. Maybe meet up with Gianna.....hehehehe. Inside jokes are great unless you're on the outside then not so much. Suffice it to say that meetup would be pretty scandalous. A real page turner. I'm mostly writing on here because I'm goofing around avoiding this program I have to write. It's super simple but I'm not feeling it. Maybe in like another 100 words or so I will. 

Anyways. 

What you want to talk about? 

You know, I feel like I'm on Sesame Street. I'm calling out to you dear reader and expecting a response but obviously won't get one so I'm going to assume one and guide this little "conversation" the way I want. First, wouldn't it be weird if Sesame Street responded? If Elmo could hear you cursing at him or hear your intentionally wrong response and be like, "real original bitch..." and just walk off? That would be pretty dope. 

Back on topic. 

Where we going camping? I'd like someplace with snow. I know I don't have half the gear necessary but I always kind of fantasize about camping somewhere in the snow. I can hear the crunch of fresh powder now as a chill runs across my skin! It would be exciting. Not below freezing mind you, I'm not some kind of wild man, but some light winter camping would be pretty neat. 

I do very much miss it...

Well, I should get back to work. I think this has been more than 100 words. Enough doddling (sp?). Got HW to finish and money to make. Bibitty boppity bo..........end.


Ps. I kind of think like, one more. One more after this then ill go all in. 

I get a little bit genghis khan

Dont want you to get it on with nobody else but me. Nobody else but me!


Soon. Soon.

Blues festival {NOW WITH LINK}

A hoot and a half. Half awake now, sprung awake from a good snooze seeking cool water and a bathroom, so i wont post too much. I will chronicle later though. Need to digest the pics. Next time you should dear reader.

So the Blues festival was a major success. All the way in Bisbee there was a one and a half hour drive there. Luckily, we bored my moms truck so the trip was smooth for burr, l, v, and I. The country that way is so green in comparison, it was a nice change of pace. On the way there though, v had to dose up on some special brownies...we didnt participate, we know their effect and didnt want that for the festival, but l and v did. They were solid for the entire trip there but started getting funky at Bisbee itself. At some lunch there, this little hole in the wall cafe that was forty freaking bucks for sandwiches and quiche...oh well. Something new. From there we made our way to the actual venue.

It was some park at the top of a small hill in the middle of Old Bisbee. It was small but was a well designed outdoor amphitheater. The bandstand had no seating, people had to bring their own, but there was a wall of giant steps that provide some easy comfort. L and v were feeling it at the point so they rooted there. Burr and i made our way to the stage though.

Man, was that music fucking good! The first band was a bunch of old white dudes who were good but we werent buying what they were selling. Everyone after was just stellar. The percussion, the bass, the funky riffs washed over us as we swayed with a bunch of old folk who went absolutely nuts. One guy burr managed to snap was just possessed by the spirit of the music! It was nuts. Some pics:

Gonna transfer the rest to imgur soon. It was just a blast. Some of the best live music ive heard and just a really cool experience. The year of live music for me has been wrapping up well with a few more to close out the '16 calendar. Obviously Miike Snow is coming up and Marian Hill. 

Ive been loving these experiences. The raw talent some folk have is so mesmerizing and inspiring. Now if i can only learn how to dance...

Well, i know this wasnt as informative, still typing on my phone so fatigue sets in quick, as you would probably  like dear reader. I might come back to it later. Do a full breakdown on each band i heard, or i might not. Im a brat l says so i might as well live up to her knickname for me. 

Goodnight, good morning, and good afternoon.

Link?

https://goo.gl/photos/RQ6i4k2YZrsBG1Tw7

Interesting

So last night i have a dream that my sis gets in an accident and dies then i get a call at 11 saying she was in accident...shes fine obviously  but its still weird. Then my boss texts me that he is getting a ticket. Luckily im fine and can offer help but damn. Cant the universe just chill for a bit?

Can i keep you

Can i keep you from harm?

Can i keep you from heartache, from hunger, from loneliness? 

No.

You are not mine to keep. 

You are smoke.

Intangible, made of ether, but still you fill my lungs and surround my head in a cloud. 

Can i keep you happy?

Can i keep you healthy, warm, and full? 

No. 

You are separate from me and are a part of chaos. 

A soul unbound from mine, cast adrift in the sea of time with all us refugees.

Can i keep you, i ask. 

No, you answer. 

I will try, i respond.

But you may keep me.
Keep me with you.
Let my lessons guide you, my stories entertain you, your memories remind you that i am there.
When you strike, i strike with you.
When you run, i will be behind you.
When you are afraid, i will be beside you if even just in thought.

I cannot keep you, but you may always keep me.

This was inspired by the Witcher books ive been reading. I like this idea of Geralt having to deal with Ciri getting older and him becoming less needed. 

It's official

So this last weekend was kind of nuts. Lots of booze, still not drunk, lots of weird fights, and a third member has joined the party here at the house. Family shit never ceases to amaze me. We all think we have a handle on these things, these feelings we have, but this kind of shit just put in perspective how much we don't know about ourselves and about the people we care most about. It is sad but I saw it coming, and I guessed the reason too. I mean, it was obvious but just to have the truth laid bare really helps solidify some assumptions I had. Anger and regret are powerful motivators to mistreat people. So, now we have a roommate. How long will it last it last is uncertain but I feel that we are all mostly a good fit for each other. I think we can teach her what it means to be open and free and she can teach us how to be more outgoing, so hopefully it will all workout. Move in was yesterday and it went exceedingly well, barring the emotional turmoil leading up to the move of course. Now only time is left to deal with. Time to see how these new puzzle pieces will fit.

The weekend was pretty fun up until the emotional shit show though. More of the same, bars and dancing, and luckily no chasing people down. Strangely absent was good live bands, or at least there weren't any the places we went. Uber and Lyft are convenient but unnecessary for me, plus I hate having someone who clearly doesn't know the area drive me around and that last guy reeked of weed. I don't know, I prefer to drive if I'm being honest.

This coming weekend though we have a big trip planned. Going all the way to Bisbee to catch a Blue's Festival! I'm pretty dang excited. Only have been to Bisbee once, its a neat little city and I have the pics online I believe, but I'm super interested in the music that will be played there. Blues and Jazz have the reputation for very impromptu performances with lots of adlibbing. I'm really excited actually. The tickets weren't too bad, 20 each, and my mom is going to let us borrow her new truck to get down there. I'll be sure to take lots of pics. Another great memory hopefully.

OH! Got my passport book and card now. The Australia trip is getting closer and closer. The only hurdle I see is perhaps school gumming up the works for me at least. The leave day may be close to or on final's day. We will see what happens.

I could write more on the new triad of folks here at the house but I have homework and mental digestion to do. Adios

Lovely to see you

The air was warm, damp, full of voices and rank with the smell of cheap beer and sweat. The crowd moved rhythmically, like seaweed under the tide. The floor, sticky with spilled drinks, was crowded and tense with the promise of sweaty, more intimate nights. It wasn't my scene. The women were hot and the men too but I had to remain focused, lust could wait. My perch was a stool in the back, taken from a table over crowded with young pups freshly 21. Their shot glasses were stacking up and their ability to be coherent was inversely related. They didnt interest me too much besides the fact they might make enough of a ruckus to blow my cover. Have already been here two hours, mixing my time feigning interest in the bad outside and musing over the drink options at the bar. I ordered a whiskey coke and have been nursing it the last forty minutes. I needed to be sharp but didnt need the keenest edge. The booze calmed me enough.

It was supposed to be another easy one. Follow the girl, see what she does. I don't normally take these kind of jobs, a matter of misguided principle i suppose, but they paid decently enough. I wasn't sure she would be here but this was one of her three top hangout spots when the man was out of town. Had to do a little digging on her social media, which always makes me dirty but not as dirty as a telescopic lens peering in through windows from shady parking spots, to get some geolocation data of where some photos had been taken. Thankfully, one of her friends was a bit careless with her privacy and it didn't take too long to find this place. So I wait. There's a physics notion that to increase the likelihood for any two particles to meet, one should stay still and that's exactly what I intended to do. Stillness and patience were traits that were honed by years of waiting and being the intermediary for my family. I think most of my impatience had been burnt away years ago. The night was still young, my drink was mostly water at this point as the ice had all but vanished, and their were plenty of pretty things in short skirts and tight tops to look at. Could be worse I shrugged to myself as I casually checked my phone again. Still no message which is good news at this point. I was just about to check some emails when I heard a familiar voice. Sweet, if but a little too high pitched with a little too much emphasis on the consonants as if it pained her a little to say them.

I have a bit of a thing for voices. I know everyone can recognize certain voices